Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ....
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ? Yes ?
Think about these:
1. COWS:
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
2. THE CONSTITUTION:
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
3.THE 10 COMMANDMENTS:
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.
MAXINE'S 12 COMMANDMENTS:
This is a side of Maxine that one rarely sees. She must have had "too much sun" this day to have quoted such wonderful alternative Commandments.
A: Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
B: Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
C: Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
D: You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
E: Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
F: Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
G: Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
H: Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
I: Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
J: Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
K: Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
L: Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
FOOTNOTE:
Also, think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU COULD BE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
