The Dog Who Didn't Win A Prize

I'm the dog who didn't win a prize.
I didn't have the Most Appealing Eyes.
All the day in this heat, I've been standing on me feet
with dogs of every other shape and size.

I've been harshly disinfected, I've been scrubbed
I've been festooned in a towel and I've been rubbed.
I've been mercilessly brushed, robbed of all me fleas and dust
and now the judging's over I've been snubbed.

Was it for obedience I was hailed?
As "Best Dog in Show" was I regaled?
Oh not on your Doggo life, pass me down the carving knife,
I had one thing said about me - it was "FAILED"

I never for a moment thought I'd fail.
I thought at least I'd wind "Waggiest Tail"
But no certificate, rosette, or commendation did I get -
Nothering on the kennel door to nail.

I am going in me kennel on me own.
Thankyou - no - I do not want a bone.
Do not think you can console me with leftovers in me bowl
me pride is mortified: I want to be alone.

I've heard it from the worldly and the wise:
"Each dog has his day" they all advise.
But I see to my grief and sorrow, my day must be tomorrow!
Oh, I'm the dog who didn't win a prize!

Written by Pam Ayres

Graphics by: Renee

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